its a rant

When will we ever get away from stereotyping. I know i'm guilty of it in more ways than i care to think about. If you're of a sunny, sweet, cute, butter wouldn't melt in your mouth kind of disposition i'd advice you not to read any further. Consider yourself warned.

Somebody sees a bit of Crash the movie. A few black men arguing, talking "black" so they dismiss it as a "black" movie and they aren't going to watch it. Come back later and they see a Hispanic older man holding a gun to younger Hispanic man demanding his money back. Hence not a movie worthy of their intellectual mind.

A few choice words came to mind. Bollocks, bloody bollocks you bloody twat, ignorant injittit, fucktard. Get out of my face before i smash your fucking teeth in cunt. Seriously who the fuck does this cunt think she is. There; i now feel all nice and warm inside. Now where is that cup of hot chocolate i made earlier. Prick!!!!!

I know there are "black" movies out there that celebrate that kind of thug life so she was kind of justified in what she said, but i'm still not happy. This movie isn't about that at all rather it just points out what society has become and how we judge people due to race, creed, gender, sexual orientation, wealth or lack thereof, education, etc.

Makes you wonder

Apparently its a good thing to try and improve yourself. So where else would i go online other than on Wikipedia. I don't really know how this will improve my life but it sure helped me forget and relieve the despondency i was feeling.

I found the this and couldn't help but laugh, especially about Aeschylus a Greek playwright who was hit by a tortoise that fell from the sky. Ya i know, you're probably wondering how that happened. Apparently an eagle mistook his bald head for a stone. Oh, the tortoise lived to tell the tale. I wonder how his eulogy read. Death by eagle via tortoise?

I almost gave myself a headache trying to figure this out. I maybe wrong, but i think it's what i call scarcasm. Somehow someone has managed to make a living out of it and called it philosophy. I think maybe im wasting my time in my chosen job. Seriously. think about it why bother when you could easily pick anything from the blue write something convoluted and voila your rolling in it.

no thank you - not for me

I had what some would call a very interesting weekend away, but i would prefer to call it odd.

Thing is i used to live in a small town when i first came to UK and this just served to remind me why i prefer the anonymity of a big town. For one you can get lost in the crowd and nobody gives a toss about you other than if you hold up the queue at the local supermarket at rush hour. That's when you get glares that could fall the titanic in nanoseconds.

In a small town, especially if you're just visiting, you get strange looks from the women as they size you up and then criticise (overheard) then they proceed to analyse if you're friend or foe. The men give you the once over as they contemplate their chances with the new bait in town. All this is done before any kind of "formal" introductions are made. I avoided this like the plague and if i couldn't, i would say my hellos then proceed to be fascinated by the wallpaper. Hence coming across as cold and uninviting. Mission accomplished(yippee).

That said you do have the odd comedian who manages to have you on the floor, cracking a rib with laughter.

He sold his shamba for bride price to my father, i birthed his daughter, we left for Kenya where he loved me for eternity like i'd never been loved before. Shame the man couldn't stay upright long enough to fulfill his promises. He had over-indulged in the jeremiah waters (thoroughly intoxicated).

GIVE ME STRENGTH

I think i'm joining antipop in her list of losers. This guy is introduced to my friend you know one of those things (maybe you guys might hit it off) kinda tricky sort of things. Anyways never got the nitty gritty of it cos quite honestly can't be bothered right now with anyone but myself.
Did that make sense? I hope so.

Sometime later jamaa supposedly saw a photo of me in her album and now wants to be introduced to me. But when my pal told me about him she conveniently forgot to mention the part about her liking him. This i find out later. I'm not a happy bunny.

By the time she decides that bit of information is crucial the guy has already asked for my number, but he's given my email as per my instructions. I don't give out my phone no. to anyone until you've passed my sanity test whether male/female. I'll blog about it soon.

Shortly thereafter he emails me with his phone no. so that i can call him, which i proceed to ignore and try and chat to him on line. He says he doesn't like that and i tell him i don't give out my no. willy nilly. Stupid guy then calls my pal call asking for my no. but she knows not to dare risk her life and limb. There'd be only one end result - her dead, me doing 10 to 20.
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A few months ago i ran into an ex from yonder years. Not someone i particularly cared to see again for as long as i lived and drew breath. Anyway my mother taught the importance of social etiquette, so i said hello and tried to make small talk which i abhor. Ex kept trying to reminisce, i tried to play dumb. When he realised i wasn't playing along (took him all of 20min stupid man) he decided he was going to apologise for past transgressions which i took as a sign of maturity. So for the first time i actually gave him a genuine smile, but lo and behold this was just to soften me up.

Then he said wanted us to go back to mine, for what, only the good Lord knows cos after that, all he got was a cold stare. The man is now married with kids and he knows i know this. I feel for her cos he hasn't changed almost 10yrs later.

I didn't put up with it then, so why would he think that i would now. With age comes wisdom. I wish i was a black belt - would have whooped his ass into next week.

NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY

I saw you across a crowded room standing at the bar, we made eye contact, several times actually. I didnt have the guts to come over and talk to you or hold the look long enough to encourage you to come over and talk to me. I think maybe its because im at a place in my life right now where i dont think i know what i want. So cant involve anyone else until i sort my shit out.


If only it was at a different time in my life. Cos right now im shitting myself when it comes to meeting anybody new. Too much baggage at the moment that i cant be asked to bring into a new friendship.


But i know i wont be forgetting those beautiful hazel brown eyes anytime soon.


Who knows maybe your married with 2.5 children, or you're more f.u.k.e.d up than me, or with my luck you're just another bastard that i seem to have the uncanny ability to pick out of a crowd. Anyway its doesn't matter cause i'll probably never see you again.



Sigh!!!