Friday, February 29, 2008


Now that he's a permanent resident here i can sleep easy at night.

Monday, February 25, 2008


I think i'm joining antipop in her list of losers. This guy is introduced to my friend you know one of those things (maybe you guys might hit it off) kinda tricky sort of things. Anyways never got the nitty gritty of it cos quite honestly can't be bothered right now with anyone but myself.
Did that make sense? I hope so.

Sometime later jamaa supposedly saw a photo of me in her album and now wants to be introduced to me. But when my pal told me about him she conveniently forgot to mention the part about her liking him. This i find out later. I'm not a happy bunny.

By the time she decides that bit of information is crucial the guy has already asked for my number, but he's given my email as per my instructions. I don't give out my phone no. to anyone until you've passed my sanity test whether male/female. I'll blog about it soon.

Shortly thereafter he emails me with his phone no. so that i can call him, which i proceed to ignore and try and chat to him on line. He says he doesn't like that and i tell him i don't give out my no. willy nilly. Stupid guy then calls my pal call asking for my no. but she knows not to dare risk her life and limb. There'd be only one end result - her dead, me doing 10 to 20.

A few months ago i ran into an ex from yonder years. Not someone i particularly cared to see again for as long as i lived and drew breath. Anyway my mother taught the importance of social etiquette, so i said hello and tried to make small talk which i abhor. Ex kept trying to reminisce, i tried to play dumb. When he realised i wasn't playing along (took him all of 20min stupid man) he decided he was going to apologise for past transgressions which i took as a sign of maturity. So for the first time i actually gave him a genuine smile, but lo and behold this was just to soften me up.

Then he said wanted us to go back to mine, for what, only the good Lord knows cos after that, all he got was a cold stare. The man is now married with kids and he knows i know this. I feel for her cos he hasn't changed almost 10yrs later.

I didn't put up with it then, so why would he think that i would now. With age comes wisdom. I wish i was a black belt - would have whooped his ass into next week.

Sunday, February 24, 2008


Got the heading for my post then went blank.................. aiiiiiiii this is not fun. Aki val i'm not sure if im loving you right now. Anyway here goes nothing:

The rules
Link to the person who tagged you .
Post the rules on your blog.
Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
Tag six random people at the end of your blog by linking to their blogs.
Let each random person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

My and my hair don't really care for each other that much. It's a love/hate relationship. More love from me, but don't listen sweetie i'm only telling them what they want to hear. You know i love you really.

I'll prostitute myself to anyone as long as they cook for me. I hate anything that has to do with the kitchen - cooking, washing up, etc

I'm a bit OCD. Nothing serious, but if i was to have mental breakdown that would be it.

I'm a bottom presser, toothpaste i.e. Can't bear it when someone presses my toothpaste at the bottom or middle. Drives me insane. But i feel gleefully naughty when staying over at someone's and i middle press. Go figure.

I'm not good at keeping in touch with people. If i don't see you for more than 2 month, then don't be expecting me to call you. I don't seem to have a valid reason for not calling other than i don't have anything to talk about. I abhor small talk.

I'm one of those annoying know-it-alls. A jack of all trades but a master of none. I always seem to have an opinion about something or nothing. I'm hardly ever wrong, atleast in my opinion.

I'm not a people person. Seriously, i don't like people especially strangers who want to make small talk. If it wasn't for my best friend i wouldn't have people i know.

Ok that was 7, but who's counting.
Whom to tag is the big 'un

Friday, February 22, 2008

don't mess with me

Gangsta Yo

I dare you to laugh.

Monday, February 18, 2008


I read this book last year and had put it away and forgot about it. Stumbled upon it by accident in my so called home library. Its quite a heavy read and not for the faint hearted or those who choose to leave in denial.

I always thought the Kenyan education system is faulty but having read this book, i now know the history i was taught about my country is full of half baked lies and truths. The imperialists were made out to be sometime bad people, maybe a bit confused and disorganised in their bid to civilise us savages, but somehow their hearts were always in the right place. At least that's the message I got.

After the 1st few chapters, i remember calling my then boyfriend (he'd recommended it) and asking, "what the fuck is this?" After a prolonged silence he asked, "what's wrong?" Thinking back he probably thought he'd erred against me and was in for some bollocking. lol. Poor 'chap' he never did like confrontations and i can be quite hot tempered and opinionated (sometimes), well maybe most of the time as he'd most likely point out. Anyhoo i digress.

What i was reading had nothing whatsoever to do with what i thought i knew about Kenyan history. Quite the opposite actually. The Mau Mau were just fighting for what is/was rightly ours and were not the evils they were made out to be. Yes they took mumu (blood oath) which simply meant that they pledged their allegiance and death was a small price to pay. No they did not go around hacking people to death willy nilly because they were on some drug induced euphoria. Anyway won't bore you with nitty gritty but here's an excerpt from the back cover;

Britain fought in the 2nd world war to save the world from fascism. But just a few years after the defeat Hitler came the mau mau uprising in Kenya - a mass armed rebellion by the Kikuyu people, demanding the return of their land and freedom. The draconian response Of Britain's colonial govt. was to detain nearly the entire Kikuyu population, nearly 1.5 million, in camps or villages ringed with barbed wire and portray them as sub-human savages.

From 1952 to 1960 possibly over 100 thousand people died from the combined effect of exhaustion, disease, starvation and systematic physical brutality.

Until now these events have remained untold, largely because the British govt. in Kenya destroyed most of the files. For the last 8yrs Elkins has conducted exhaustive research to piece together the story, unearthing reams of documents and interviewing several hundred Kikuyu survivors.

Britain's Gulag reveals what happened inside Kenya's detention camps, as well as the efforts to conceal the truth. Now, for the first time, we can understand the full savagery of the Mau Mau war and the ruthless determination with which Britain sought to control its regime.

Friday, February 15, 2008


About a week ago i was meeting a friend i hadn't seen for quite sometime. So me being me, I couldn't quite get out of bed on time. You see I'm not a morning person, so if i don't have to go to work nothing short of a house fire will get me out of bed before 11 am. Its a physical impossibility. When going to work i set my alarm for half 8 which gives me enough time for at least a fag and a half before i stumble out of bed and into the kitchen to put the kettle on for a cup of tea. Then another fag with my cuppa while my brain jump starts. Then, and only then do i consider myself half human.

Problem is i was meeting her at half 12. She had all these crazy ideas about doing an early lunch, then off to fuck knows where for window shopping. Apparently she's redecorating her pad and I'm supposed to care. Why? I haven't the foggiest. Anyway I'd been putting it off for so long that had to grab the bull by the horns.

As you can imagine was already stroppy from lack of my non routine on my day off work, no breakfast, not enough nicotine (smoking ban) so cant just be smoking ovyo ovyo. So get to her end and call her from the station so she can pick me up. As I'm standing with a half glazed looked in my eyes i notice a man across the road holding a camera pointing it in my general direction. Then i see a light flash.......................

Look around me and there's nobody else about. Its below freezing so nobody is wandering around passing the time of day. I calmly cross the road to confront the dude. At this moment in time i don't care if its whatshisname Mike Tyson, i want my pound of flesh and maybe an explanation later if he's lucky. I have at this point meta-morphed into Mohammed Ali in his heydays. I am floating like a butterfly and by the time i get to the other side I'm definitely stinging like a bee.

Well that was the general idea, but half way i loose my nerve and start questioning my sanity. Maybe I'm whathisname Tyson and he's Ali and that's not going to be a pretty picture, for me anyway. So feigning calmness and general British politeness i quietly ask if he's just taken a picture of me. He gives me a blank look to which i explain i was standing across the road and blah blah blah.

The guy cracks up and explains he's from some sort of department with the southeast trains and he was taking a picture of the train station which is due for refurbishments or some shit like that and proceeds to show me his badge. This is when i notice the company van and uniform he's wearing. After that, all i remember is the embarrassment i felt and trying to laugh it off saying there are so many perverts about these days and that one can never be too careful. Then slowly slink off to wait for my pal whom i never said a word to about it.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

on my deathbed

I think im nearing my final days. Everything hurts - literally. The only bit that isn't in pain is my hair. Which is a pity seeing as that is the only part of me that i wouldn't mind hacking off with a pair of blunt scissors.

I suspect the flu but haven't bothered to see my GP. He is what i would politely refer to as an asshole. Arrogant, little shit!!! I think i feel better already after venting. Been self medicating for the last 2 days, but the relief is temporary. Will probably go to A&E and wait it out. With any luck i'll pass out at the reception so i wont have to wait all day to see a doctor. If you live in UK you know what im talking about.

Let me entertain you with a list of my symptoms:
- swollen tonsils
-sore neck
-arm and thigh muscles ache
-wrist, elbow, knee joints ache
-loss of appetite (3 days and counting, but may be my weight loss programme)
-cold sweats

Enough said. As you can tell im having a ball. Maybe i'll come back and write my eulogy, you know, get my affairs in order. I've always wanted to say that.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008


Its here. Again!!!!!!! Ah the butterPhotobucketflies in my stomach are doing somersaults, waiting in anticipation. What will he get me this time? Flowers, a card, jewelery, maybe a gratuitous weekend away in the country, a holiday cruise maybe? Luck would be a fine thing.

Forgot to mention i would need someone of the male persuasion for any of these to be a possibility. Preferably Colin Farrell. I am allowed to daydream aren't i? I would have said George Clooney/Brad Pitt, but personally i think they're both overrated.

Why do we need a day set aside so that someone can declare their undying love for me, to tell me that life is not worth living without me, i am their reason for being, their everything. This declarations would probably have me rolling on the floor laughing uncontrollably. What a load of tosh.

If you care that much you should know its the little, everyday things that count. Like taking out the rubbish when its pissing down, waking me up on Sunday morning with the sweet aroma of breakfast, letting me be when i'm premenstrual. When i say i have a headache, just choose to believe me once in a while and make a fuss over me. Yes! Then i'll know you love me, i am your reason for being and don't worry darling i will definitely return the favour.

Ok now we can get back down to planet earth. More often than not, this will only happen in the lead upto/on valentine's day or your birthday or said culprit has been caught up in an indiscretion of gigantic proportions and is trying to make up for it (read tongue in cheek).

So this valentine's me, myself and i are going for retail therapy and celebrate single life. You know what i mean, we can go out all night and drink until the cows come. Not because we have to, but rather because we can. We won't have to take anyone into consideration, we don't have to stress about what present to get or whether its good enough. Whatever present i get myself will be the best i can cos, who knows me better than myself really?

So single peeps out there go out and celebrate your love for yourself.