Tuesday, January 22, 2008


As i'm sure you've noticed i've changed my layout. I think this one is much better than the previous one which looked cluttered and messy and the writing is much more legible now.

With time im sure i'll get bored with this one but not for a long while (i hope). Sometimes i tend to have the attention span of a housefly - that is one of my downfalls plus the tendency to speak before i think.

I'm sure i've been hurtful to some dear friends. There was no ill will intended, thank you for your continued patience and may God grant you continued patience to put up with me now and into infinity. For if you still want me for a friend after a few years then i'll be in your life for a long time to come. lol. I can see the grimace on your face. That's right i ain't going nowhere so deal with it. So brace yourself, buckle up and enjoy the ride because its bound to be a bit bumpy.

There'll be tears, laughter, the odd disagreement, children, lovers come and gone, heartbreaks, food (you cooking for me i.e), alcohol aplenty, that new joint we'll discover together, alot of eye candy, unsolicited advice (from me), bad hair days, good/bad fashion sense, etc.

The one thing i can say for sure is that i wont get bored with you lot even as i make new friends here. Hopefully they'll get to know me a little bit better with each passing day and i pass muster. Even when i may come across as abrupt, its coming from love. I promise.

I love you especially when it doesn't seem like it.

Saturday, January 19, 2008


I don't know if its just me but i have this fascination with gals with dashboard flat stomachs. For some reason i cant seem to take my eyes of their stomachs but this is more from envy than desire. "I want that tummy" is all i think about and wonder if they appreciate this part of their anatomy.

I have been caught out a few times staring and i have to say its quite embarrassing. Maybe they think im ogling them with desire and i want to start explaining myself but if i did I'd probably end up sounding like some weirdo off her meds.

So which would be better? To look like some sex starved lesbian or a weirdo off her meds? Personally i don't think either will do. So i've been spending more time than is healthy trying to come up with the perfect explanation for the next time i'm caught out.

Maybe i could just say "I like your stomach." I'm sure if i said that they'd probably take one step back from me and think " I'm having a bad day. I sure don't this nutter making it any worse." Oh i don't know anymore. Maybe i should seek professional help/advice. I'm sure if i tried i'd be laughed out of a straight jacket.

Now, when i see a woman with beautiful hair i have no shame in walking up to her and saying "Oi, i like your hair, where did you get it done? Can i have her number/address and how much does she charge?" Then we'll get into a long drawn out conversation about it.

On the other hand if i see someone with bad hair, I have no problem with bitching about it with my friends. If i'm alone i'll just smirk and shake my head in wonderment. Of course this is done discreetly lest she knows then i'd probably go home with no hair on my head.

I'm sure some random person has done the same to me when i'm having a bad hair day/month, but that is where my beloved hat comes in. I've got all manner of hats in my wardrobe for said days, and they are plenty (bad hair days).

Actually in the last few months my hair has grown a brain cell. I've tried everything to tame it but that only lasts a few days then it starts resembling Don King's hair. Yep that's right. Its not funny anymore. I'm actually tempted to visit my local barber and have it all shaved off, but its winter so it might not be my brightest idea yet.

Then again i'm thinking maybe get some crazy haircut and put some colour, something to reflect my personality. My new year resolution is to be true to myself. For the last couple of years i've tried the girly girl look and im sick and tired of it (high maintenance). Influence from long ago ex. I'm not saying i was trying to not be myself but rather trying to be what i thought society expected me of me i.e conforming. NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!

So maybe in the next couple of weeks i'll be sporting my new look. Wish me luck and more than anything wish me courage to back up my thoughts.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008


As i get older i seem to be developing a lot of pet peeves

  • Don't call me just when you need a favour from me then ignore me the rest of the time. Thats why i screen your calls.
  • Did you know that when you're on a long distant call you actually dont need to shout for the other person to hear you.
  • If you dont like where your life is headed then bloody well try and do something about. Don't keep harping on about it. I care. Truly i do. Just not that much that i have to hear about it every time we talk.
  • When you use the bathroom please close the door. Just cause its only us girls doesn't mean i care to hear you and your bowel movements. GGGGRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHH!!
  • If you know you're running late or can't make it call/text its polite to do so. But dont leave it till the eleventh hour that just pisses me off.
  • When we go to the pub the general rule is: i buy, you buy. Don't take the piss im not Bill Gates.
  • I know low cut jeans are sexy. But only if your pantie is sexy as well. Take a hint.
  • And please, please, please close your mouth when your eating. If i've told you once, i've told you a thousand times. Close your fucking mouth when eating and don't talk with your mouth full
  • He's just not that into you. Get that into your thick skull for fucks sake.
  • You're old enough to be my mother so start acting like it if you expect me to respect you.
  • When i say that im not that into politics, cars, etc i mean it so the more you keep going on about it the only thing you manage to do is make want to pull my teeth out (I'M BORED)

Thursday, January 10, 2008


i wake everyday same as yesterday

but im told everyday is an opportunity

says who, everyday is the same as yesterday

day before,today, yesteryear, tomorrow

tell me who is this person

i want to see you

lie to my face

Im not complex actually

you just dont see me

take your time

stop inhale exhale

that wasn't hard was it

now you should be able to see me

clear as the break of dawn

when the mist is clearing

and the birds are chirping

you see if you look

you hear if you listen

clear as the morning dew on a blade of glass

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

National Anthem of Kenya


Monday, January 7, 2008

Dont remember where i saw this, but thought i'd share:

I thought it said what i couldn't articulate - how i feel about what is going on in Kenya.
I wondered why i wasn't sharing everything as passionately as everybody else around me seemed to be doing.

Sunday, January 6, 2008


I'm not sure what was going on last night maybe there was a full moon, maybe its because i was not inebriated, but what i do know is that it was quite a strange evening.

I'll backtrack a bit. My friend just got back from her holiday so we decided we wanted to go clubbing much as she protested we did manage to convince her it was a good idea. So we set off at 1 am, normally by this time im a bit tipsy but not today - sober as a judge

Not quite sure how to get to club but claim i do. Get lost twice but only admit to it once. Will have to get designated driver a SAT NAV as present soon. Get to club, realise we need an ATM, ask bouncer for nearest ATM, its just round the corner, turn round to head in said direction and that's when we encounter the first nutter of the evening.

Said nutter starts leering at my pal, we ignore him, then he invades her personal space so we decide to turn round and go in for a bit then come back out later. Now, this is not the first time we've been to this club but tonight its full of nutters and the ratio of men to women is 1:10 and they seem to get a bit excited when they see 3 females walk in together. We cant even seem to get to the bar without some idiot thinking Xmas is back again and he fancies his chances with us even though he can barely stay in a vertical position.

We decide to just have the one drink then leave. Decide to go smoke (smoking ban - grrrrrrhhhhh, winter - grrrrrhhhhhhh). Everybody outside seems to be looking at something with a lot of curiosity, look in same direction but see nothing. Two puffs later, five o and i think oh fuck don't need this. Bouncers had bounced two people out of the club and knocked them into unconsciousness. But to look at them - butter wouldn't melt

Go back in finish second drink and leave for another club (been to this one before as well). All seems well - no nutters. Don't know why we even bothered not really feeling it at this time. Any way buy drinks, join some pals already there. Then pal of a pal decides he wants to discuss the state of my country Kenya (political/ethnic clashes) in my ear, i mean what with the loud blaring music; I'm not that into politics; halitosis (his not mine); and i just cant be asked.

Towards the end of the night the DJs decide to swap and this one cant seem to stop talking - shut up and just spin the record if i wanted to listen to someone yucking away i've got one in my ear right now grrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhh.

Said dj is loving the sound of his voice so much that when the crowd starts getting rattled he doesn't notice. He's trying to make light of what is happening in Kenya (bad idea), but he seems to be retarded. Bear in mind the place is full of Kenyans from different ethnic groups who've decided not to let the recent chaos dictate to them who they can hang out with.

Long story short we very nearly had our own little war.

Got home in one piece thank the heavens.

Weirdest night ever. Note to self - stay away from the clubbing scene for a while.

Thursday, January 3, 2008


I saw you across a crowded room standing at the bar, we made eye contact, several times actually. I didnt have the guts to come over and talk to you or hold the look long enough to encourage you to come over and talk to me. I think maybe its because im at a place in my life right now where i dont think i know what i want. So cant involve anyone else until i sort my shit out.

If only it was at a different time in my life. Cos right now im shitting myself when it comes to meeting anybody new. Too much baggage at the moment that i cant be asked to bring into a new friendship.

But i know i wont be forgetting those beautiful hazel brown eyes anytime soon.

Who knows maybe your married with 2.5 children, or you're more f.u.k.e.d up than me, or with my luck you're just another bastard that i seem to have the uncanny ability to pick out of a crowd. Anyway its doesn't matter cause i'll probably never see you again.